New Year's Resolutions

1: I will write a list of my New Year's Resolutions.
2: I will not talk about fight club.
3: I will NOT talk about fight club.
4: I will get a new girlfriend. A new and shinier one, possibly equipped with special features (like rocket launchers or laser eye vision).
5: I'll go to the cinema more. No wait, I'll get a student card first, THEN I'll go to the cinema more, thus saving me TWO POUNDS FIFTY. And I'll watch art-house films and look really interlekchual.
4: I'll get into the Rowing Second Eight. Except, OH WAIT, I ALREADY DID. MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. And perhaps I'll win something this year. You never know, stranger things have happened.
6: I'll be nicer to... well, nobody. Fuck you all. Especially YOU.
7: I'll keep my points better ordered in the future.
8: I'll blog more. And in return, everyone else will comment loads and make me feel validated. Starting from... NOW.
9: I'll stop being such a pussy.
10: I'll get a job? Hahahaha. No. Work experience, maybe. Actually, nah. Notgonnahappen. I'll just sit in my comfy rut.
11: I'll go on some exciting adventures, possibly involving alcohol and those cool beige hats that jungle explorers used to wear. And machetes. So basically, what I'm imagining is a kind of cross between Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and that level from Timesplitters 2 with those rock men and the jungle tribes and that FUCKING MONKEY that threw explosive fruit at me and took off 50% of my health until I shot him with a fiery arrow.
12: My blog posts will be fully finished, well planned and brilliantly edited. I certainly won't just go onto random tangents and trail off into nothing this year. Because after all, that would be really du





ONLY JOKING, I wouldn't just finish a blog halfway through a senten